Finding a church and Grandma's earthly life both in God's plans and control

I haven't found a church that I like since being back at home, which is Fresno. During four years of college, I had a church that I went to weekly. In the year 2010-2011, I was able to fellowship with fellow Christians through Valley of Grace in Fresno, which is the English Ministry affiliate of the Korean Presbyterian church. One of the members was Jane S. Moon, who I mentioned in a previous post as introducing me to her college roommate Tracey Kim. Through that connection, I was able to attend Emmanuel Presbyterian Church a few times while a student at Columbia Nursing. Since then, I haven't felt the inclusion I had before, and it's honestly been really hard living life without a church that I connect with. In addition to partaking in worshipping God, church allows members to fellowship with each other. I don't know whether I need to wait to relocate (once I obtain my BSN degree in Fresno) or to work harder in finding a church in Fresno. I think I've moved on past Valley of Grace since I left in 2011 and am ready to find a new church. I'm hoping to find one when I hopefully relocate to a bigger city, like San Diego or Los Angeles, and start working as a RN. 

My experiences at Emmanuel in Manhattan gave me perspective on ministry. First off, the make up of the ministry was considerably different, mostly graduate students and working professionals, then VOG in Fresno. I also remember what college ministry was like when I was an undergraduate student. My life might have been different if I had continued school at Columbia Nursing and stayed in NYC metro area where I found there to be a presence of Korean working professionals and plenty more job opportunities for myself. 

As far as my career goes as a prospective RN, I feel compelled to the area of pediatrics, particularly the NICU. I'm really enjoying my clinicals this semester at the local children's hospital. I'm learning tons and feeling more comfortable as a nursing student. I could really see myself working as a pediatric RN until my retirement and find myself enjoying what I do. With that said, I don't see myself staying in Fresno and would like to leave for a bigger city. I leave that into God's hands and wish for what's best in my nursing career. 

Speaking of God's plans, it appears that my last grandparent will be taken away sooner rather than later. This past week, my grandmother on my mom's side had been at the ED where they found a mass in her lung. Having ruled out pneumonia, the doctor suspects it is cancer. Family doesn't want a biopsy done, which only confirms or rules out cancer. Without the results of a biopsy, grandma is receiving hospice care at home. Passing away of family is always very hard. I remember when my grandma on my dad's side had passed away, and I visited her at the hospital. Thankfully, she was still alive when I went to visit her and said my good-bye. I can't imagine what it is like to be on the brink of death like that of an elderly. However, I do remember how hard it was to see my grandma on my dad's side go. I know that God has bigger plans for them up where he is at. God's agape and affection for us is so much greater than what life on earth provides that if I was in a position of nearing death, I'd anticipate life with God much more. I know it sounds like I'm downplaying the end of life and what that's like, but I just think there is hope in the subsequent life, which is evidently eternal. However, I'm speaking of those who have reached a point in age where death is inevitable. It's a different situation when life is unexpectedly shortened, in the case of younger people. That's when it seems that God is not being fair, cutting off life unfairly, and not giving adequate time to take pleasure on Earth.