Actors, Women's Health NP

 I look up Leonardo DiCaprio, Matt Damon, and Ben Affleck obsessively. I don't think I could be a Women's Health or Men's Health NP. I think I can do it, meaning I can go through a school program and finish the education. However, I don't think I have the gall or boldness to work in those specialties. The other day, I performed a gynecological self-examination, and although it's not quite as important as men performing self testicular examination, it was useful. I just don't see myself performing these exams on other people. It's usually not necessary for women to perform self examination, unless it's the breasts, like it is for men, and it's more like taboo for women. If I take the Human Sexuality textbook as a guide like I do with my nursing books, doing a pelvic self-examination isn't so bad and let's say I do become a Women's Health NP, if I conduct pelvic self-examination of patients shouldn't I be knowledgable about mine as well as my patients? But, the private part is sort of what's in it's name -- private. 

I know that the Bible (God) says to stay away from sexual immorality but in some situations, it's unreasonable. For example, let's say I do become a Women's Health NP. I have to practice with a sense of empathy for my patients rather than scold them for sexual practices that the Bible deems as immoral. It's really tough to discern what's considered moral and immoral. My guess is that those acts that aren't consecrating to God could be considered immoral. That's without considering the physiological needs that people could have in this day in age. It's tricky. Back when I started the nursing program, I hadn't read Human Sexuality or completed the psychology course covering human sexuality, so I had more of a conservative approach. After reading through the textbook, it's difficult to maintain a conservative mentality in patient practice and I think I've accepted the more liberal side of Human Sexuality, which seems to contradict what God says about sexual immorality. 

These are some the things I have to think about when choosing a specialty in nursing. It's just not that simple. I also have to question the morals in my personal life and determine what's appropriate versus inappropriate and conduct myself accordingly. I wish I could go back 15 years past when I was naive but that's impossible. 

In the Korean drama Beyond the Bar, the main characters defend a guy who stored his sperm in a fertility clinic and directs his anger towards the fertility clinic for irresponsible handling of his sperm. The reason why he had to store his sperm is because of infertility issues related to testicular cancer. I'm at an age where my fertility has declined as infertility is known to decline after the age of 30 and accelerate after the age of 35. I'm now 41. At this age, I don't consider pregnancy as viable. I wouldn't even want to try, considering I'd even get married. I'm not really angry about it like that of the guy in the drama. Granted I don't have the emotional ties to conceiving a child like the guy. There are so many responsibilities in taking care of a baby and child that I'm not willing to take on. 

I've contemplated taking a part-time job but with school starting in a few weeks, I don't know if it's manageable to take on an additional job. I need the money, though. 

I'm currently watching K-drama Beyond the Bar. It should keep me busy before the start of school in a couple weeks. Beyond the Bar seems structured in its production similarly to Extraordinary Attorney Woo. It's the different legal cases that the dramas bring attention to that make these dramas engaging and interesting. The thing I love about K-dramas is that there is so much to learn about society and character, some of which add mystery to the individuals.

I currently weight 204.9 lbs. I've since lost only a few pounds since the start of summer and since having my surgery. I had been consistently gaining weight before the surgery. I believe the surgery on my chin (chin revision) has helped with me being able to lose weight easier. Having said that, weight loss is extremely hard. It takes a lot of work with exercise and controlled eating. I hope to be able to continue losing weight, especially while I'm in school. I have a feeling that this weight loss journey is going to be slow but it's better than before when I was gaining weight.